Its been a long time sense I last wrote here. I am happy to report that my life is less chaotic and driven the way its been in the past. I can see from my parents, that award and achievements were highly desire able. Still I have to say, that much of what has made my life move in a positive direction, has been things that are free, always available and lifestyle based. So in many ways my life has changed from what it was when this blog first started. I think then I did daily injections in hopes that the chemicals would halt my meylin sheaths from being damaged. Sense then I have learned that medicine or a doctor, or a report, or a study, or a survey, or a vote. Doesn't change a think that I should be doing. (Yes there is room to tweak a life. Its getting tweaked all the time, but the basic progress is predictable). So now my life is full of many things it went without for many years. I'm started to call it my lost decade, but I can't because that was a great time in my life. (I got to spend it, raising great kids, with a great person. ) Anyhow, my 30s were a time in my life where there was life all around me all the time. I never appreciated it at the time, but kept yearning for more. In a space that had no more to give. In many ways, understanding I had MS and divorcing fell right a about the same time. In many ways, spiritually, being divorced has been great for me and my ex. But more specifically it has been good for my MS. Its allowed me to live the life I need to live, in order to reverse what has laid its evil head. I'm not religious but I am a firm believer, in being an energetic being. That received, generates, shares, energy again and again. Kind of a dance meshing, twisting, swirling the frequencies of the energy waves all around us. All the time, every day, every year, every life. Which has been my main defense when it has come to MS. I see it as a function that has mal functioned. Lets face it, to eat ones meylan sheath, its not normal. So I spend my time, allowing my body to function as best as it can, to give it what it wants, to provide it with as many tools as I can give it, to help it reverse something that has gotten a huge head start.
I hope to write on here, again, to share some of the funny things that have happened over the last 3 years.
Wednesday, March 2, 2016
Sunday, March 10, 2013
Will To Live
I was listening to a lady the other night that was diagnosed with Krohns disease. It was 1967, and she was 17 years old. Her doctors told her to get her affairs in order and at the most, she was not going to live past 27. She's 63 now and no plans on dieing. She told a story about a nurse that gave her the will to live. She didn't do it by running a test or by giving the lady a magical pill. She did it by being nice, by listening to the heartbreak that the lady was feeling from her diagnosis. She was very sucidial and a lady took the time to listen to her and be nice. In return the lady received a will to live.
It occurred to me that a will to live was something everyone needed in life and exspecially when living with a disease. There are those that say, the number one reason for fatality with people with a disease is suicide. Unfortunately the will to live gets weak and then of course there isn't one.
For me it is close to my heart and luckily I have many reason's to stay alive. My daughter put it best to me. I said, "I'm so sorry that you have, to have a Dad with MS," She commented "why would you say that dad?" I said, " because I can't run around with you and jump around with you like other dads do". She looked into the distance and you could tell she was thinking very deeply and then looked at me and said
"well, its better then not having a dad" and for me, this and every moment I see my kids are my "wills to live"
Kids are easy to see as a good reason to keep on living. Family is a good reason. Friends are too, but having that will to live comes from within us all as something that we all have. For some maybe its confusing and for some maybe not clear. For me its simple but I think more than that people, especially when your talking about health, need a will to live. I read somewhere that the trillion of cells you have in your body know how to be healthy. They probably also know how to live and the are intelligent to understand if there is a will to live or not. The last thing they need is a will to not live. Their shee nature is a hunger for life, a hunger for reproducing a hunger to thrive. To me this is what has kept the lady alive for 67 years. Her cells don't want to go anywhere. Her cells don't know anything about Krohns disease and thank good ness. Sometimes the worst thing we can do is learn something and then forever hold that as truth. The simple truth is that we only believe we know something. We should learn from animals, everything you need to learn is in you, listen to it.
It occurred to me that a will to live was something everyone needed in life and exspecially when living with a disease. There are those that say, the number one reason for fatality with people with a disease is suicide. Unfortunately the will to live gets weak and then of course there isn't one.
For me it is close to my heart and luckily I have many reason's to stay alive. My daughter put it best to me. I said, "I'm so sorry that you have, to have a Dad with MS," She commented "why would you say that dad?" I said, " because I can't run around with you and jump around with you like other dads do". She looked into the distance and you could tell she was thinking very deeply and then looked at me and said
"well, its better then not having a dad" and for me, this and every moment I see my kids are my "wills to live"
Kids are easy to see as a good reason to keep on living. Family is a good reason. Friends are too, but having that will to live comes from within us all as something that we all have. For some maybe its confusing and for some maybe not clear. For me its simple but I think more than that people, especially when your talking about health, need a will to live. I read somewhere that the trillion of cells you have in your body know how to be healthy. They probably also know how to live and the are intelligent to understand if there is a will to live or not. The last thing they need is a will to not live. Their shee nature is a hunger for life, a hunger for reproducing a hunger to thrive. To me this is what has kept the lady alive for 67 years. Her cells don't want to go anywhere. Her cells don't know anything about Krohns disease and thank good ness. Sometimes the worst thing we can do is learn something and then forever hold that as truth. The simple truth is that we only believe we know something. We should learn from animals, everything you need to learn is in you, listen to it.
Thursday, February 28, 2013
We are amazing.
It's important to not forget that. A lot of life will help you forget this but it is important to remember. Wether your talking about diet, rest, excercise or stress they will all try to convince you that you are just doing well. Or that you are alive, or that your happy for the moment, or you are getting by, or you are struggling, but the truth is, that you are amazing. It's something that is unfortunately very obvious when you receive a negative label. How could someone survive with a negative label if we aren't amazing?
One of the quickest and easiest ways we start to not underatnd we are amazing is because we forget to listen to our bodies. Somepeople say we have lost the ability to listen to ourselves like a wild animal, but what I've seen is these qualities are around us, but we don't use them. In a very simple example its easy to know that listening to yourself is important. Can you name the last bird that you know that has cancer? Of course not. Noone tells a bird how to fly, they just know how. No one tells a bear how to bite, they just know how. When we listen to ourself equally amazing things happen.
Like these animals, we have to understand we are the most amazing animal off all. Its a fact that we have more hair pours on our body then any animal on earth. Its important to remember that our small intestine is 27 feet long and that is the longest of any mammel. Its important to remeber that we have over 9 million rods in our eye and over 90 million cones. This allows us to see in black, white, color, dark or light. For all these reasons and more we are amazing and we should never forget it. Unlimited potential is often realized when people don't believe that there is any other way, much like the bird that flies or the fish that swims. Luckily no one has told them differently.
Lately I've learned a lot about the human body and there are thotse that believe that a body that is at ease will be without disease. There are those that say that every cell in our body has the power in it that creates universes. I think there are over trillions cells and no one has to tell them what to do. No one has to tell them how to make energy, no one has to tell them to live, they just do.
That is the whole point of this blog. To not forget that you are amazing. To live each day, each breath, each day as if you are amazing. People should feel lucky to be around you. You should feel lucky to be around anyone else in this world, after all your around someone who is amazing. Everyone should respect themself and know that they are a part of this universe and that is no small accomplishment. We are all 1 in a million, regardless of any negative label we might get a long the way.
It's important to not forget that. A lot of life will help you forget this but it is important to remember. Wether your talking about diet, rest, excercise or stress they will all try to convince you that you are just doing well. Or that you are alive, or that your happy for the moment, or you are getting by, or you are struggling, but the truth is, that you are amazing. It's something that is unfortunately very obvious when you receive a negative label. How could someone survive with a negative label if we aren't amazing?
One of the quickest and easiest ways we start to not underatnd we are amazing is because we forget to listen to our bodies. Somepeople say we have lost the ability to listen to ourselves like a wild animal, but what I've seen is these qualities are around us, but we don't use them. In a very simple example its easy to know that listening to yourself is important. Can you name the last bird that you know that has cancer? Of course not. Noone tells a bird how to fly, they just know how. No one tells a bear how to bite, they just know how. When we listen to ourself equally amazing things happen.
Like these animals, we have to understand we are the most amazing animal off all. Its a fact that we have more hair pours on our body then any animal on earth. Its important to remember that our small intestine is 27 feet long and that is the longest of any mammel. Its important to remeber that we have over 9 million rods in our eye and over 90 million cones. This allows us to see in black, white, color, dark or light. For all these reasons and more we are amazing and we should never forget it. Unlimited potential is often realized when people don't believe that there is any other way, much like the bird that flies or the fish that swims. Luckily no one has told them differently.
Lately I've learned a lot about the human body and there are thotse that believe that a body that is at ease will be without disease. There are those that say that every cell in our body has the power in it that creates universes. I think there are over trillions cells and no one has to tell them what to do. No one has to tell them how to make energy, no one has to tell them to live, they just do.
That is the whole point of this blog. To not forget that you are amazing. To live each day, each breath, each day as if you are amazing. People should feel lucky to be around you. You should feel lucky to be around anyone else in this world, after all your around someone who is amazing. Everyone should respect themself and know that they are a part of this universe and that is no small accomplishment. We are all 1 in a million, regardless of any negative label we might get a long the way.
Monday, January 28, 2013
Best Medicine For MS
Last year my defense was my diet and it's seen many changes. In January last year I quickly become a vegetarian. It was easy to eat all fruits and vegetables. It was delicious. I don't think I had a complaint with soy BLTs, nachos made out of cashews and macaroni and cheese made out of nutritional yeast. Some of those meals are some of the best tasting meals I have ever eaten. These experiences proved to me that knowing how to cook or follow a recipe were very important.
Shortly after that, in June I switched to a Paleo type of eating. I've looked at food as a carbo, protein or fat fuel. If something wasn't only made out of one of this I try not to eat it. Recently I have tried to explain this philosophy to my girlfriend. She wants to be able to prepare me food that makes me happy. I try to tell her food made by her is special and it matters that she made it. Her and I have found that the Terry Wahls program for eating was simple to follow. Her program is 3 cups of green, 3 cubs of color, 3 cups of sulfur and repeat it every day. I've seen her program morf with that of a paleo way of eating and the science behind it seems solid. But all good offenses should be made current, as necessary.
My other defense Chia, Chiropractic, Exercise, and Mediation continue to grow into my life. I'm quickly learning that enjoying a moment is as general as I want it to be. The details of this life have made me tired and I don't need the weight of something like MS talked about each day. I think part of recovery from something, is to not think about it for a few days, months, years. I think it best described as take care of yourself.
Which brings me to my favorite med cine. It's magical, free, light, good, uplifting, hopeful, colorful, bright, intellectual, sporty, sexy, communicative, hungry, thirsty, smiley, daring, erotic and blind. It's something that can't be measured or weighed and hope is slow or fast. It is being in love with a sexy female. For some reason the feeling of love makes you forget being sick. It's probably as simple of not having enough time in this life. It makes you realize amazing things can happen. Things that aren't studied in medical school.
I still take me medicine for now, but I see that love is part of the solution of life.
The type of medicine that I inject into my body every night, is Copaxane. I don't know what to think of that medicine. My hope is that it starves off relapses. Sense I haven't seen many relapses. I have to believe it is working. I've discussed before that a good defense from MS was probably a multifaceted offense. So, the medical protection from MS is only one of my strategies.
Last year my defense was my diet and it's seen many changes. In January last year I quickly become a vegetarian. It was easy to eat all fruits and vegetables. It was delicious. I don't think I had a complaint with soy BLTs, nachos made out of cashews and macaroni and cheese made out of nutritional yeast. Some of those meals are some of the best tasting meals I have ever eaten. These experiences proved to me that knowing how to cook or follow a recipe were very important.
Shortly after that, in June I switched to a Paleo type of eating. I've looked at food as a carbo, protein or fat fuel. If something wasn't only made out of one of this I try not to eat it. Recently I have tried to explain this philosophy to my girlfriend. She wants to be able to prepare me food that makes me happy. I try to tell her food made by her is special and it matters that she made it. Her and I have found that the Terry Wahls program for eating was simple to follow. Her program is 3 cups of green, 3 cubs of color, 3 cups of sulfur and repeat it every day. I've seen her program morf with that of a paleo way of eating and the science behind it seems solid. But all good offenses should be made current, as necessary.
My other defense Chia, Chiropractic, Exercise, and Mediation continue to grow into my life. I'm quickly learning that enjoying a moment is as general as I want it to be. The details of this life have made me tired and I don't need the weight of something like MS talked about each day. I think part of recovery from something, is to not think about it for a few days, months, years. I think it best described as take care of yourself.
Which brings me to my favorite med cine. It's magical, free, light, good, uplifting, hopeful, colorful, bright, intellectual, sporty, sexy, communicative, hungry, thirsty, smiley, daring, erotic and blind. It's something that can't be measured or weighed and hope is slow or fast. It is being in love with a sexy female. For some reason the feeling of love makes you forget being sick. It's probably as simple of not having enough time in this life. It makes you realize amazing things can happen. Things that aren't studied in medical school.
I still take me medicine for now, but I see that love is part of the solution of life.
Friday, January 11, 2013
Living With MS
For many people, who have read this blog. They maybe saying who cares or who wants to hear from a person with MS. Well I hate to break it to you but there are a lot of people who want to hear a story of hope. After my last blog I realized that was why I was blogging the story of my MS. I touched basis on diet and described some of the things I'm doing now and possibly in the future. At the end of the day, I've realized the reason for this blog is show you are allowed to have MS and hope.
Yes, what you put in your mouth and your body is very important. But equally important is how you think about things. There are those that say that what you think begins a chemical reaction that affects your entire body. If you listen to people like Daniel Amen (author of "change your brain, change your life") the thoughts if gratitude produce different chemicals for your brain then the thoughts of anger. You can ask yourself, how often have you gone to sleep to thoughts of gratitude?
For me, this has been something I've noticed that living cleaner life has effected. I've noticed this with the inner voice that talks to myself in my head. Spending time with feelings of gratitude and happiness has changed that voice. It used to be aggressive and down right mean. I would use a lot of vulgar language but this would be in my head and no one but me knew it existed. Having this voice change has been nice and a welcome change in my life.
I'll continue to write this blog because it is a way for me to show my gratitude towards a disease. It helps me talk about the disease and it allows me to let go of unwanted feelings. Most of all it gives me hope. Hope that my life will not be defined by MS and hope that others like to hear about someone with MS who has hope. I will write more and as often as time allows, but in the short term I would say to people with MS or any other disease. The best thing for you is hope. Surround yourself with hopeful people. Eliminate lengthy interactions with people who do not carry a lot of hope. Remember, you deserve it, regardless of having a disease or not!
Yes, what you put in your mouth and your body is very important. But equally important is how you think about things. There are those that say that what you think begins a chemical reaction that affects your entire body. If you listen to people like Daniel Amen (author of "change your brain, change your life") the thoughts if gratitude produce different chemicals for your brain then the thoughts of anger. You can ask yourself, how often have you gone to sleep to thoughts of gratitude?
For me, this has been something I've noticed that living cleaner life has effected. I've noticed this with the inner voice that talks to myself in my head. Spending time with feelings of gratitude and happiness has changed that voice. It used to be aggressive and down right mean. I would use a lot of vulgar language but this would be in my head and no one but me knew it existed. Having this voice change has been nice and a welcome change in my life.
I'll continue to write this blog because it is a way for me to show my gratitude towards a disease. It helps me talk about the disease and it allows me to let go of unwanted feelings. Most of all it gives me hope. Hope that my life will not be defined by MS and hope that others like to hear about someone with MS who has hope. I will write more and as often as time allows, but in the short term I would say to people with MS or any other disease. The best thing for you is hope. Surround yourself with hopeful people. Eliminate lengthy interactions with people who do not carry a lot of hope. Remember, you deserve it, regardless of having a disease or not!
Friday, January 4, 2013
Anniversary
There's no other way to describe it, but for lack of a better word it has been one year. My what a year. Raising kids, fixing meals, cleaning the house, working, and playing. MS doesn't automatically come with a rest. It is with you as long as you want it. A good friend of mine, recommended that I start a blog and said it would do good for others to hear about my MS, or what I like to call my specialness.
It did begin a year ago, but like many it was years before that the journey first began. As many do, I went from Dr to Dr looking for a reason that I had a weird sensation under my right foot and my hands were feeling numb on and off. I ended up at a neurologist's office and he quickly ordered an MRI and Spinal Tap. When the results , were turned into him, he labeled me with that of MS. Since that day, over the last year I have heard so many reactions to having MS. I've had people explain that I should keep it to myself. There have been those that say "sorry". There have been those that say "what is it" and luckily those that say "you seem like the same person to me". In weird ways probably everyone is right in their own way. To me I've become cynical, satirical, ironic, uncoordinated, and very grateful.
I guess I've never been the type to leave well enough alone. It's been no different with MS and most of this year has been me learning everything I can in or around MS. I've joined the MS Society, the National MS Association, MS Direct, Terry Wahls Website. I've been to support group meetings, received online counseling. I've attended and participated in a "free from falls workshop". Enjoyed a day at a Historical Train Station and received a "brighter tomorrow" grant from the MS Society. Suffice it is to say, there is a lot around a label like MS.
For me, after the initial shock of MS. It's been important for me to learn as much as I can about it, and learn to live with it. From the beginning of this year it became obvious to me that it was going to take a multi point plan to cover the things that MS can affect. I knew that Medicine was going to be part of my defense but I've also known that a good offense is usually the best defense. My offense began with nutrition. I've learned an amazing amount about nutrition but there is always room to tweak. My next area to solidify has been chiropractic care with Dr. Dennis Smith. Luckily the chiropractor that I meant was also a neurologist. With my plan multi faceted, it has also included religion and the law of attraction. In the future I hope to include, yoga, Tai Chi, more movement, and more energy.
With all of these things there have been ups and downs. Sometimes I don't feel very good and I still have to go and see the neurologist. Sometimes it just gets old and you don't want to take your injection. Sometimes you get tired of people asking, "you can't eat that? uh?" This plan and all the ups and downs of MS will be part of this blog. The only thing I'll say for now is "what you think you will be tomorrow, you will be".
It did begin a year ago, but like many it was years before that the journey first began. As many do, I went from Dr to Dr looking for a reason that I had a weird sensation under my right foot and my hands were feeling numb on and off. I ended up at a neurologist's office and he quickly ordered an MRI and Spinal Tap. When the results , were turned into him, he labeled me with that of MS. Since that day, over the last year I have heard so many reactions to having MS. I've had people explain that I should keep it to myself. There have been those that say "sorry". There have been those that say "what is it" and luckily those that say "you seem like the same person to me". In weird ways probably everyone is right in their own way. To me I've become cynical, satirical, ironic, uncoordinated, and very grateful.
I guess I've never been the type to leave well enough alone. It's been no different with MS and most of this year has been me learning everything I can in or around MS. I've joined the MS Society, the National MS Association, MS Direct, Terry Wahls Website. I've been to support group meetings, received online counseling. I've attended and participated in a "free from falls workshop". Enjoyed a day at a Historical Train Station and received a "brighter tomorrow" grant from the MS Society. Suffice it is to say, there is a lot around a label like MS.
For me, after the initial shock of MS. It's been important for me to learn as much as I can about it, and learn to live with it. From the beginning of this year it became obvious to me that it was going to take a multi point plan to cover the things that MS can affect. I knew that Medicine was going to be part of my defense but I've also known that a good offense is usually the best defense. My offense began with nutrition. I've learned an amazing amount about nutrition but there is always room to tweak. My next area to solidify has been chiropractic care with Dr. Dennis Smith. Luckily the chiropractor that I meant was also a neurologist. With my plan multi faceted, it has also included religion and the law of attraction. In the future I hope to include, yoga, Tai Chi, more movement, and more energy.
With all of these things there have been ups and downs. Sometimes I don't feel very good and I still have to go and see the neurologist. Sometimes it just gets old and you don't want to take your injection. Sometimes you get tired of people asking, "you can't eat that? uh?" This plan and all the ups and downs of MS will be part of this blog. The only thing I'll say for now is "what you think you will be tomorrow, you will be".
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